It’s Sunday. I’m sitting in the comfiest armchair in my house and listening to my mom and sister cooking in the kitchen. Music from Woody Allen films is playing in the background and everything seems to have fallen in to place.

But lo and behold I remember that today is Sunday – that means that tomorrow is Monday and that means I have to start doing all the papers that are due next week. I start thinking about university, what I want to study, where, will I even get in to a good university, my sisters are so smart and could get in any college they wanted to but here I am hoping that I even get in.

So there I am – sitting perfectly still in an armchair and someone asks what I’m thinking about. And I answer – nothing. Little do they know that my brain is having a mini panic attack. It’s just that it would be so hard to explain all of my emotions – and they probably couldn’t even find a solution to them. And I know why. Because all of these things I keep worrying about haven’t even happened yet.

There is so much pressure in today’s millenial world to have everything figured out. You’re supposed to be outgoing, crazy, weird, but at the same time calm and collected. And I know that most of you will say “don’t give in to the pressure” to be perfectly honest we all get pressured. Some more than others – some less.

My point is how can a 16 yr old with next to no life experience have everything figured out? How can I know what I want to do with my life when in school I can’t even disagree with a teachers perspective on a novel because it will lower my grades and ruin my chances on good end-of-semester results?

To be honest this post probably made no sense because I didn’t even know that I was going to write anything until a few minutes ago. So I’m sorry, but I just needed to let all the steam out.

I know that I don’t have much of a point. All of these thoughts/emotions just suddenly caame to me.

with hope that the next post won’t be as depressing,

elizabeth

Advertisements